It is not a something bad that my father did that i don't want to repeat his mistake, but it is actually the other way around.
See, as for right now i still in the office with my colleagues - one of them is a father. The same age as my father. Still working late; - his wife and children calling to ask when he’s going to be home etc. Still put everything he got to make sure his family has enough. When I’m yawning and sick of staring at the monitor, his eyes glued and concentrating on the issues.
"I can never be the man my father was" – as I look at my colleague I reminisce when I was wee lad. My father often comes home late at night, for years. Now I know what path did my father take to ensure I have a nice and meaningful childhood. I can’t imagine that is going on his mind at that time, to feed his family with all the workload and so on. He was the man of the house; everything he did is for our family.
All the bills, all the rent, all the thing he need to pay,..i actually comes close to tears as i write this. and only one thing is in my mind : thank you and sorry. thanks for everything. i did know any better back then. always causing trouble and everyting.sorry for addinf more headache to your pains.
With all of these of digest, I wonder will I be able to be the man father was. In Sha Allah, I will try my best.
p/s ;- For my mother, there will be an entry for you. :)
i love you both.